Izulu Liyaduduma
Ngenye imini ndathuma unyana wam omncinci uPhumie evenkileni, ukuba ayothenga isonka neswekile. Uthe xa esendleni ebuyayo ehamba engceni ende, imvula yaqala ukunetha. Emva koko, laliduduma izulu. Ngeshwa uye wabethwa lizulu kuba lalibaneka. Wayene minyaka eyi-18.
Abantu babaleka besiza apha kwam besithi bambonile ebaleka, waphinda wawa phantsi. ‘Oh Goldie, siyaxolisa,’ batsho njalo. ‘Upha entabeni.’Xa sifika kuye, wayesele eswelekile. Into ethetha ukuba uye wafa ngalamzuzu belibaneka.
Kukhona ingozi yokubethwa lizulu ingakumbi kweye ntwasa hlobo eMpuma Koloni. Nangoku, xa ndigodukile pha kweyeNkwindla, ndimane ndisiva ukuba yenzeke kubantu abaninzi. Yinto esiphila nayo le. Kodwa awukwazi ukuyilungisela lonto ingakumbi xa ivelele usapho lwakho. Ukufa yinto ekhoyo, kodwa akuqheleki.
Ndaqala Ukuphupha Futhi
Emveni kokuba abantwana bam beswelekile ngenxa ye HIV/ Aids, ndathi, ‘kutheni mna ngalo lonke ixesha? Kutheni lento emva kweminyaka emibini, omnye wabantwana bam kufuneka abhubhile nje? Kutheni indim?’ Ndakhuliswa ngqongqo, ndisoloko ndisenza into elungileyo, futhi zange ndibone ukuba kutheni na le ntlungu ivelela mna.
Entliziyweni yam, ndaqala ukusola abazali bam, kuba zange ndafuna ukutshata kwasendaweni yakuqala. Ndandimane ndiboniswa ngokuba ngu mongi wabaguli okanye ndifundisa esikolweni, kodwa umyeni wam zange ayivumele lonto. Bendimane ndicinga, ‘Ngoku ndinabantwana kunye nomyeni kwaye bayasishiya.
Ndisaqhubekekela ntoni?’ Naxa bendimane ndibhideka, bendiyazi ukuba umyeni wam yindoda elungileyo. Naye wayekhathazekile ngokusweleka kwabantwana bakhe. Kodwa ukufa kwabo kwabetha mna kakhulu. Bendihlala endlini imini yonke, ndicinga, ndingakwazi ukuphuma kwintlungu yam. Bendinga kucingi nokutya oku. Ndandingafuni nokubona abantu.
Bendimane ndihlamba iimpahla okanye ndicoce indlu yam, bendithi xa ndigqibile ukusebenza, ndibuyele ngaphakathi ndicambalale. Bendiyazi ukuba intloko yam ibingekho kahle. Ndiye ndabona ukuba kufuneka izinto zitshintshe. ‘Ndenza ntoni, ndihleli apha ndendwa, andenzi kwanto?’ ndiye ndazibuza.
‘Andikwazi ukuqhubeka kanje. Mandibuyele eKapa ndiyohlala nomyeni wam. Kufuneka sithethe kwaye sithathe nesigqibo sento esizoyenza.’ Ndiye ndaphupha nangoqala elam ishishini emva koko ndaqala ukuziva ngcono. Ndabuyela eKapa, ndacela uOtto ukuba andithengele umatshini wokwenza iimpahla, ndaqala elam ishishini eli ndandiphuphe ngalo.
Ukuphola Kwethu Sobabini
Ngamaxesha amaninzi pha ngokuhlwa, besithanda ukufunda ibhaybhile. Ivesi ebisimbambazela kakhulu ibiyile ka Mpostile uTimoti, xa esithi, ‘Ekugqibeleni, xa uYesu esiza, abantwana abazokumva.
Kuzabakhona ukufa okuninzi. Abantu bazothanda nemali.’ Siye sacinga, ‘Kutheni lento sicinga izinto ezimbi kangaka nje xa uThixo esinike ibhaybhile, eyona ncwadi ebalulekileyo?’ Yayibhalwe ngabaprofeti. Kwaye zonke izinto ezasisenzeka zazibhalwe ebhaybhileni. Ndaqhubeleka ndithunga ndinitha. Intlungu yam nayo sele yehlile.