uKuvumela uKukhanya
Ndalala ebhedini ndazi songa, ndiyindindi bubuhlungu. Khona, ebumnyameni be kamere yam, ndavumela ubumnyama ngaphakathi kwam bunyuke bundongamele ndagqiba okokuba ndiphelise Ubomi bam. Eyona ndlela ilula yayikuku lala esiporweni sikaloliwe ngasendlini yam eKhayelitsha ndilindele uloliwe eze.
Ekugqibeleni, ndandizakuba nokuphumla. Kodwa yayingekuko okokuba ngalo mzumzu, unyana wam uAnthony wangena enkqonkqoza emnyangweni wam. Watshintsha ingqondo yam ngokuzibulala unaphakade. Yayingunyaka ka 2001, kwaye ixesha elide ngandingakwazi ukugqiba entweni ngaphandle kokulila, ndilile, ndilile ngakumbi.
Ndandi dikiwe kukukhathazeka kweminyaka okwakugcwele kweminyaka emininzi. Ndandingasafuni ukuphila Ubomi buka Alicia Mdaka, Ubomi awayengasokuze azikhethele bona, ukuba wayekwazile ukukhetha. Ndandibucaphukela ndicaphukela nesiqu sam kuba ndandi xinge kubo, kodwa ndandingaboni obunye ubomi.
Nimbonile na uMama Wam?
Ndatixa ucango lwam lwangaphambili, ndavala umdiyadiya ndazimela ebumnyameni bendlu yam. Emveni koko efestileni, ndeva ilizwi lika Anthony ethetha nommelwane, umama omdala endingasalikhubuliyo igama lakhe. ‘ukhe wambona umama?’ wabuza.
‘Hayi’ waphendula umama omdala. ‘ndibone bazukulwana, uThuthukani no Juliette, besiya esikolweni, kodwa bekusele kukusasa. Andimazi uphi yena umama wakho.’ ‘Andazi, ndimthengele iimbiza ezintsha ezintle nee pani,’ watsho, ‘ilizwi lakhe lilula ngokungathi konke kulungile emhlabeni. ‘Ndiluzamile ucango lwakhe kodwa litixiwe.
Ndicinga ndizakophula lendawo yokutixa ,ndibeke ezimbiza nee pani ngaphakathi. Ndizakulilungisa mva ucango.’ Kwandisebenza ke oku. Ndabaleka ndaya emnyango ndayokuvula. Ukuba wayezimisele ukuqhaqha, kwakungcono ndimcede ndilivule, ndinqande nokophuka kocango lwam. ‘Hayi, ungophuli nto, diyakuvulela,’ ndakhwaza, ndavula.
Wabujonga Kanye ubuso bam obudumbileyo wabuza, ‘Mama, kwanti kwenzeka ntoni? Ulile lantoni?’ Kwanyanzeleka ndithethe inyaniso. Kuzozonke inxwaleko zosapho lwam, uAnthony wayezamile ukunceda. Ngexesha wayehlala nam, wayeqhele ukwenzela abazukulwana isidlo sakusasa, azise ekhaya lomadlana ayifumene kwimisebenzi yakhe.
Wayenentliziyo entle kwaye ndimthemba. ‘Anthony, andikwazi kuqhubeka,’ ndatsho.‘ ayikho enye indlela endiyibonayo ngaphandle kokulandela iintombi zam. Ndifuna ukuba nabo. Ndifuna ukuya kwindawo engcono. ‘andazi ndiyibeke kanjani lento kuwe – ndihleli apha ndicinga indlela yokuphelisa ubomi bam.’ Wathatha isandla sam, sayokuhlala esitulweni, ukuhlala kwethu phantsi wandijonga ngqo emehlweni.
Akawasusa amehlo wakhe kum nditsho nangomzuzwana. ‘uyayazi yintoni? Watsho. ‘wawukwi ngozi zemoto ezintathu, wonzakala kuzo zonke , kodwa uThixo wakusindisa. Wahlaselwa ngumhlaza amatyeli amathathu kodwa nalapho uThixo wakusindisa. Uyayazi kutheni? ‘wayeyazi okokuba ngenye imini uzakubathatha odadewethu uPrudence no Olive, abantwana babo bashiyeke ngemva. Ebefuna wena ukhathalele aba bantwana.
Bayakudinga, mama. ‘ukuba uyahamba ngoku, kuyakwenzeka ntoni kubo? Iyakuba yinto embi, ebuhlungu. Kufuneka uyeke ukucinga ngalendlela. ‘ Amazwi wakhe ayengathi ngamanzi abandayo andivasayo, endothusa okokuba ndivuke. Kumvandendwa wam, abazukulwana bam babesemva engqondweni yam.
Kodwa babe phila – bephila, njengokuba ndandilangazelela ukungaphili – nalo lonke ithemba noloyiko endilikhumbulayo ukususela ebuntwanenei bam. ‘masithandaze,’ ndatsho. Saguqa ngamadolo ndalila, ndalila, ndiphokoza intliziyo yam ku Thixo. Ekugqibeleni uAnhony wathi, ‘Kugqityiwe’.