Sandiswa’s Battle with HIV/Aids
My eldest grandchild, Sandiswa, is 18 years old and blind. When she was 14, she started getting big sores on her head. It was the first sign that she had HIV. I am willing to say this because I have accepted the diagnosis. It is very important to accept such a diagnosis before you can deal with it properly. If there is any stigma in our community, I can cope with it. I am strong in this way.
We went to Groote Schuur Hospital, the big state hospital in Cape Town, when Sandiswa was diagnosed, and the doctors told us the virus was very advanced. She has been on antiretroviral drugs for a while now, but she did not always take her treatment properly. The doctors say that is why she went blind.
On Thursday, we went to the doctor again. He said she has TB (Tuberculosis), but she can be cured. She is very thin and sick and so depressed that she won't talk anymore, not even to her cousins. She just hides her head.
A Gogo’s Responsibilities
Sandiswa goes to blind school in Worcester, which is good for her. On the weekends, she comes back to me. I look after her, doing her washing and helping her with everything she needs. It is a very big job. Sometimes, my burdens overwhelm me. I have huge responsibilities, looking after my grandchildren, and I have diabetes, high blood pressure and arthritis.
There many times when I feel so overwhelmed by sadness about what has happened to my family that all I can do is cry. This kind of pain does not go away. When you think about it, it comes back with full force. My son Andile has HIV, but he has disclosed this and is an activist. He is well. He goes to clinics to advise people who are being tested. He is strong.
Strength of a Gogo
In my daily life, I am strong. The mamas at Grandmothers Against Poverty and Aids really help me. We give each other so much support that I love going to GAPA. I learn there that we all share the same difficulties. We give each other advice and help one another.
But there are times that I cannot go because there is only me here to look after my grandchildren and they need me, especially Sandiswa. There are only two important things in my life: making sure that I can look after my grandchildren and my work as a sangoma. Nothing else is important to me anymore.
By Jo-Anne Smetherham