Ukushada Ngesiko lesiXhosa

© Dr Peter Magubane

Imithetho yamaNguni Yokushada

Umshado wawungavamile kakhulu (abalingani bomshado bafunwa ngaphandle kweqembu), okuyiyona ndlela ehlukanisa ngayo i-Nguni ngokujwayelekile. Yonke ingane ka-Nguni izalwa emndenini wezinzalamizi futhi umshado ngaphakathi kwendlu kuyisenzo esibi kakhulu futhi ivinjelwe ngokuqinile. Phakathi kwabaseXhosa, abathandekayo ikakhulukazi kule ndaba, umshado wawugwetshwe kanye nemindeni yabo bonke ogogo nomkhulu.

Umshado wawuyi-virilocal, okusho ukuthi umfazi wayehlala nomyeni wakhe nabantu bakhe. Umshado wawuyizinkathazo, futhi izinduna namadoda acebile anezinkomo ezinkulu ezithandwayo ezingaphezu kweyodwa, futhi kwezinye izimo zaba nabesifazane abane noma ngaphezulu. Babevame ukuhlukaniswa ngezikhundla ngokwezindlu ezahlukene. Phakathi kwesiXhosa, inhlanzi eyinhloko yayiphakathi kweNdlu enkulu kanye neNdlu Yokunene.

Undlunkulu

Umfazi Omkhulu wayebhekene nokukhiqiza indodana nendlalifa, iNdodana Ekulu, eyayizuza isikhundla sikayise - inhloko noma inhloko yendlu njengoba kungenzeka ngemuva kokufa kukayise. Umfazi Omkhulu wenduna wayevame ukuba owesifazane ohloniphekile, indodakazi yenduna evela kumphathi oyakhelene naye (indodakazikazi yaseKhoisan noma iThembu).

I-Right-Hand Son yindodana, indodana yokuqala yowesifazane ongakwesokudla, yayiyinhloko noma inhloko yendlu, enezinkomo zakhe, abaxhomekile nabalandeli. Kodwa-ke, wayenesibopho sokusungula umbusi wakhe noma indlu yakhe ngokuqoqa insimu entsha noma engakahleleki. Abafazi abengeziwe babebanjwe njengamahlumela noma ama-support (amaqadi) kuya ezindlini ezimbili eziyinhloko futhi behlukaniswa ngesigaba ngokufanele.

Omunye umphumela obalulekile wendoda yokushada nomKhulu Omkhulu kamuva ekuphileni, emva kokuthola enye imishado, kwakuwukuthi iNdodana Ekulu futhi indlalifa yayisemncane kuneNdodana Yokunene esebenzayo futhi enolwazi. Lokhu kwakuwumthombo wenkinga nokuxabana phakathi kwabafowabo ababili. Ukuphikisana okuqhubekayo phakathi kweNdodana Yokunene neNdodana Enkulu kungaholela ekuthungeni ubukhosi bokugcina, njengoba kwenzeka kuTshawe no-Cirha okukhulunywe ngabo ekuqaleni. Ngaphandle kwalokho, kungaholela ekufuseni nasekuhlanganiseni ngaphakathi kwesikhulu, njenge-Debacle phakathi kukaRharhabe noGcaleka.

Ngenkathi indoda yayingumyeni oyedwa, okwakungavamile phakathi kwabantu abavamile, umkakhe wokuqala waba ngumfazi omkhulu futhi indodana yakhe eyizibulo iNdodana Ekulu nendlalifa. Abafazi bezithembu ngamunye babe nezindawo zabo zokuhlala kanye nemithombo yezomnotho ezinkomeni nasezinkomeni ukuze balondoloze imizi yabo. Umfazi wesandla sokunene sikaMongameli wayevame ukuhlala ekhaya lakhe kude ukusuka eNdawo eNkulu.

Ukuxoxisana Ngomshado

©Dr Peter Magubane
Ukudluliselwa kwezinkomo (ikazi) kusukela eqenjini lomkhwenyana kuya eqenjini lomlobokazi bakhonze kokubili ukuqinisa umshado futhi ukukhokhela uyise womakoti ngokulahlekelwa yendodakazi yakhe emsebenzini. Izingxoxo zomshado phakathi kwala maqembu amabili zingase zibe nzima futhi zibeke isikhathi eside, ikakhulu uma kuziwa ukuxazulula inani lezinkomo okufanele zihanjiswe.

Ukudluliselwa kwezinkomo kwabuye kusebenze njengendlela yomshuwalense: uma umakoti kufanele ahlukunyezwe ekhaya lakhe elisha, angabuyela ekhaya labazali bakhe, futhi iqembu lomyeni wakhe lizolahlekelwa izinkomo. Indoda eyathola izinkomo ngokushintshanisa indodakazi eshadile ingasebenzisa izinkomo ukuze zithole umfazi owengeziwe noma angase azisebenzise ukusiza indodana noma isihlobo ukuba athole umfazi.

Ngakho ukushintshaniswa kwezinkomo emshadweni kwakuyindlela yokujikeleza umakoti wezezimboni, nabesifazane behamba ngezinhlangothi ezivela ezinkomeni. Izithunywa zevangeli, ukukholwa ngephutha/obo/a ukuthengwa komlobokazi, ukulahla umkhuba wokuziphatha.

Nakuba imishado ivame ukukhishwa esontweni noma enkantolo yamantshi namuhla, i-lobola ayizange ilahleke ngokuphelele, nakuba manje kungenzeka ukuthi ikhokhwe ngokheshi njengenani lemali lezimakethe ezihilelekile ekuthengiseni.

Umshado wendabuko wawungeyona nje indlela yokwakha ubuhlobo phakathi kwamalungu obulili obuhlukile ngenhloso yokuzala. Okubaluleke nakakhulu, kwakuyindlela yokwakha izivumelwano phakathi kwamaqembu angahlangene, yingakho umshado ngaphakathi kwendlu uvinjelwe.

Impilo Entsha Kamakoti

Ngemuva kokushada, umakoti uyisihambi ekhaya lakhe elisha. Kwakudingeka abonise ukuhlonishwa nokuhlonipha (intlonipho) kubazali bakhe nomalokazana nabo bonke amalungu aphezulu emakhaya; wayengeke afike ezindlini ngqo ngokuhamba ngaphesheya kwegceke, kodwa kwadingeka afike kubo ngemuva; wayengeke avunyelwe ukungenisa izinkomo.

Isikhundla sowesifazane oshadile ngaphakathi komkhaya sathuthuka kancane kancane njengoba esenabantwana futhi bakhula. Abesilisa besifazane babebhekwa njengethonya elingcolisayo emfuyweni futhi abavunyelwe ukungena ezinkomo. Ngesikhathi besedlule isikhathi sokuya esikhathini, isimo sebesifazane sasiqhathaniswa nesesilisa. Wavunyelwa ukuba eze eziphuzweni eziphuthumayo zezinyosi kanye nemihlatshelo nokubhema ipayipi elide kakhulu.

Translated by Nsika Khoza