Ukungabi nezingane emshadweni ngokosiko lakwaXhosa

UTenjiwe Tutu uxoxa ngokuba owesifazane ongumXhosa oshadile kodwa ongenazo izingane nokunyezwa amalungu omndeni.

Yimina noma Uyena?

©Eric Miller

Umyeni wayeyindoda elungile. Wayehlezi ekhuluma ngesizotha nami futhi enobubele. Kodwa kuthe kuhamba iminyaka emshadweni nezingane zingabonwa, umndeni wakhe, ikakhulukazi unina waqala wabanonya kimina. Wayejwayele ukungibiza ngenkunzi. Uyabona, eTranskei sisebenzisa izinkunzi ezine, sizihlanganise bese ziyolima emasimini.

Izinkomo zifana nabesifazane, ziletha izingane, kodwa izinkunzi yizona ezazenza umsebenzi onzima, zilinyiswa emasimini, zithwaliswa nezigubhu zamanzi ezinkulu noma inyanda yezinkuni. Umamezala wami wayengiqhathanisa nenkunzi ngoba ngangingabatholi abantwana. Ngangicasukile ngiphatheke kabi futhi ngifuna nokuhamba emzini.

Umyeni wami wathi, ‘Ungakhathazeki. Akuqali ngathi ukungabi nezingane. Nabanye abadala abanazo kodwa basandawonye. Sishadile futhi kumele sihlale ndawonye kuze kube siyashona.’ Kodwa abakubo babelindele izingane eziningi kithina, bengakunaki akushoyo.

Noma ngabe umuzi kuthiwa ugcwele kanjani amanye amalungu omndeni, babekhuluma ngokungixosha. Babe nokuyiphindaphinda le yokuthi, ‘Akafani nabanye besifazane, uyinkunzi.’ Kwakungidla lokho ngaphakathi. Futhi ngangingazi ukuthi ubani onenkinga yokungabatholi abantwana phakathi kwami nomyeni wami.

Isibeletho esingcolile

©Eric Miller

Kwabakhona isikhathi lapho engayiswa khona kwadokotela, owathi umyeni ungumnqemane, unayo inzalo kodwa wathi mina ngifakelwe ushevu nanokuthi isibeletho sami singcolile. Lokho kwavele kwafakazela wonke umuntu ukuthi inkinga ikumina. UMzwandile ngavele ngamshiya ngaphandle kokumtshela ngemuva kweminyaka eyisithupha sishadile.

Ngavele ngamdabukela ngoba amanye amadoda ayembuka ngenye indlela, ngangifuna akhululeke. Ngangimchithela isikhathi ngoba ngangingakwazi ukumzalela izingane nanokuthi uzophinde athathe omunye umfazi futhi, lokho kwakuyinto engangiyicabanga. Ngafika eKapa.

Asizange sikhulume lutho ngaleso sikhathi. Kodwa kukhona lapho engabuyela khona ekhaya e-Eastern Cape, ngezwa kuthiwa ubuze umndeni wami ukuthi ngizobuya nina ngoba ufuna ukungibona. Ngangazi ukuthi usangithanda. Ngesikhathi sengimbona, kwavele kwaba muncu ngoba wavele wakhala.

Wangitshela ukuthi akakholwa ukuthi mina ngangingamfanele, kodwa useshadelwe futhi, omunye wesifazane onezingane ezimbili azithola kumyeni wokuqala, manje kimina kimina wayefuna isihlukaniso. Kukhona lapho umalume wami angitshela khona ukuthi amaphepha esihlukaniso afikile kodwa mina angikaze ngiwabone ngoba ngangingekho ekhaya ngaleso sikhathi.

Nginakho ukufikelwa wumcabango wokuthi uma umndeni womyeni kwakungabantu abahlukile, ngabe namanje sisandawonye. Ngiyamangala nje ukuthi ‘Kungani singazange sibe nezingane? Impilo yethu yayizoba mnandi.’ Nakumfazi omusha akazange azithole izingane futhi. Ngicabanga ukuthi lnyanga yamchatha ngomuthi othile owenza ukuthi angabi nezingane.